i just saw graffiti and all it said was ‘bagels!’….i’m really happy somebody is passionate enough about bagels to spray paint it on a wall
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
I’m so done with my life
birds are lucky because they get to attend concerts for free
I want to be your 1 a.m. fuck and your 1 p.m. lunch date.